Archive for October, 2011

Post #151: Mind games

Tuesday, October 4th, 2011
  • I’m at work, and I get a non-work related e-mail. There’s a comment about “the way things are” in some aspect of society. It’s usually too negative, and it’s always too simple. I take the bait, and I formulate a counter-argument opinion. This eats up 30 to 90 minutes of my day.

  • It’s lunch time, and I’m asked a simple question by a co-worker. “Do you like fish?” I do like the taste of fish meat, but I hate having to deal with the bones. Does that mean “yes” or “no”? I do the one characteristic thing that is “David St Bernard”, where I mentally check out of the conversation to have a “group huddle” in my brain about the simple question of fish. By the time I’ve figured my answer out, they’ve changed topics.
  • It’s time to come home from work. I’m riding my bike, singing the same verse of song I’ve had in the works for a year. The verse I thought I liked this morning now sounds amateurish. I scrap it and start again. I should be paying more attention to the road.
  • I’m home, skimming through Facebook. It rarely has anything good there. Why do I do it? Maybe it’s the same addiction that the lottery has. There’s that slim chance that you might win, and that’s really all you need.
  • It’s soon to be another Ultimate Frisbee game. I’m looking at the clock, and I’m aiming to get there right on time. I underestimate the time it takes to find a change of clothes and grab water. Also, I take a new route to the game, and I’ve overshot the street by two main intersections. The team is very used to this.
  • I’m riding back home on my bike from another late night Ultimate Frisbee game loss, hating myself for the few bad plays I made - in particular, the one that costed us a supposedly easy point. I make the same mental reminders each game: (1) slow down, (2) don’t go for risky plays. I just make the reminders after I’ve already made the heart-breaking mistake. I should be paying more attention to the road instead.
  • It’s late in the evening. I went over all the things that I could do before going to bed, and envisioned them happening as soon as I got home. My body relaxes the moment I step in the door. I check Facebook one more time, and the last of my energy reserves dissipates. What “to-do list”? I should go to bed and try to wake up early to get the things I promised I would done.
  • It’s another day, I start to write a blog entry because I haven’t done so in a long time. I take a music slant, trying to be professional about my blog, but it’s not good enough. I thought I had something interesting to say, but now that I read it, it’s not really worth publishing. I’ll save it, and maybe get back to it later. Maybe.