Archive for April, 2009

Post #35: Get Your Hopes Up

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

Dear Alice,

There’s a danger in getting your hopes up, but they make you feel alive, no? I’m bouncing off the walls after seeing that Chicago took game 5 against Calgary (5-1), and I can’t tell whether I’m more thrilled about that or about Washington taking game 5 against New York (4-0).

The profound, almost cliché statement would be “No hope = no life.”

Hope you have a great day today.

David =B~)

Post #34: La Semaine Prochaine

Saturday, April 25th, 2009

Dear Alice,

In a week, I’ll be in Paris. Everyone I tell seems to get really excited on my behalf. It’s like when everyone but the birthday boy knows what’s in store for him.

I’m not (yet) a traveler. I don’t understand why people love to travel. So, I’m off to do it, and Paris is probably the easiest place to spark that fire.

When I think of analogies, there are a few that come to mind:
1. I’m not a drug addict. I don’t understand why people love to get high. So, I’m going to do heroin.
2. I’m not a Neil Young fan. I don’t understand why people love his music. So, I’m going to listen to his Greatest Hits album.
3. I’m not an animal activist. I don’t understand why people become vegetarians. So, I’m going to a slaughterhouse this Thursday.

There’s something odd about these analogies, no? That doesn’t sound like enough of a reason, now, does it? Well, you might be right!


Post #33: Welcome to the border

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

Dear Alice,

I realize today that my life shall never be about being a go-getter. It is simply dedicated to accidentally stumbling into experiences that everyone else has the better sense to avoid.

My rock climbing buddies and I decided to take a trip to Niagara Glen Park to do some outdoor climbing. We took three cars and mish-mashed the gear amongst the vehicles before setting off for the south. Unfortunately, in my car, we became so engrossed in discussing the Uncertainty Principle (and how some theorems are best understood through their derivations) that we missed the exit to the park and found ourselves at the U.S. border. Some of our friends in the other cars had no shoes for as long as it took for customs to confirm that, no, we’re not interested in travelling the U.S. and that, yes, we’re just some A.D.D. kids who couldn’t figure out a better solution than “let’s just wait the line out.”

They don’t let you do U-turns, but that’s cool. It would have been impossible, since the other side of the road was packed with cars (right at he yellow line, too) waiting to get into Canada. We played a cool Russian word game called “contact” to kill the time - we played it well into the day, and after rock climbing was done too. Anyhoo, since we had no passports, I had no drivers’ licence, and Alexi had but his student card as photo ID, we had to get out the car and they took it away to be inspected. Nothing to fear unless they mistook the chalk in our chalk bags for something else….

Oh, it also turns out that I look Russian, because the man behind the counter was looking at my health card and talking to Alexi about his citizenship. “So, it’s just the three of you, is it?” he asked after he was finished with Eric, Jo and Alexi. “Uh, no.” I said, “I’m with them. That’s my health card you’re holding.” You know… the one with the afro?

The rock climbing was exciting, but anyone can go rock climbing. Not many people can say they willingly got turned around at the border.

“You can’t come into our country!”
“That’s fine! We weren’t trying to get there anyway!”
“Get out of here!”
“We’re trying! Let us out!”
“NO! First, we have to ask you some questions…. What’s your nationality?”

My favourite part: at the customs office, I was slightly parched and somewhat thrilled to find a vending see that they only charge $1.50 for a coke. The machine didn’t accept my loonie because I was in America. My money was no good. :P
I’m going to be in Paris in two weeks. Can you let me know of some things to do other than eat pastries? Thanks, Alice.

David =B~)

Post #32: Where’s the fun without the guilt?

Saturday, April 11th, 2009

I used cyrillic, and now the spam-bots are sending me spam in Russian!

Dear Alice,

What a weird sense of unrest this is.

My friend, Vlad, was telling me about the movie “Click” in which the character has a remote control to do whatever he wants. We both thought it was odd that the character decided that he would fast-forward through his entire life. Why would you do that? The moral of the movie was ruined by the fact that he never explored the power of time like Groundhog’s day did: rewinding until you’ve supposedly had a “perfect” day.

Nowadays, I hate to get existential, because it just seems like the thing to do, but I do enjoy these discussions with Vlad. We reasoned that interruptions, while somewhat annoying and rude, are quite a necessity to conversations. Imagine a world in which once one started talking, you were forced to wait until they were finished! Imagine a dictator, incessantly spewing ridiculous ideas out to the world simply because he never gave the rest of the people a turn to speak! Nope. Interuption, please. Get him off his throne.

There’s nothing wrong with getting existential, but stop crying out loud. Go find someone who cares to hear it. (I have.)

Back to life! I’m busy not getting busy. I see the recycling piling up and I don’t want to deal with it. I deal with laundry when I’ve got nothing left to wear. And until there’s no room on my bed for me to sleep, it shall have to hold the contents of wardrobes I’ve refused to put away, books I’ve stopped reading, and guitars/bags/other-items I’ve decided to temporarily placed on it while I go off and do better things.

For instance, I got a call at 2pm yesterday from Vlad and Vee and they wanted to go just for a walk. I knew deep down inside that, since I hadn’t much else planned for the day, the walk was going to lead into much more that I couldn’t tear myself away from. Sure enough, the walk lead to hanging out at their place until I was following them to Mississauga for drinks with friends, and back to their place for youtube music and captioned Scream 3 until 4 in the morning. All good stuff, but it sounds like yet another weekend of which my mother would disapprove, y’know? “Don’t you still have tax forms to figure out?” and “What about your trip to Paris?” and “Didn’t you go drinking the night before?” Ugh, the built-in panopticon of guilt.

I sometimes get dizzy and disoriented what with all the freedom I’ve got, mixed with such a horrid lack of insight into the future. How I’m still alive and (somewhat) functioning is anybody’s guess.


Post #31: Priviet! Da? Da. Paka!

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Dear Alice,
Дорогое Алиса,
Darogaye Alisa,

How are you? How is it going?
Как вы? Как оно идет?
Kak vi? Kak ono idyet?

Today, I write in Russian. We talk in Russian.
сегодня, Я пишу в русском. Мы говорим в русском
Syegodeeya, ya peeshoo v russkom. Mi govareem v russkom.

I ate orange. It tastes like water.
Я съел помеец. Оно пробует как вода
Ya sbyel lomyeyech. Ano probooyet kak voda.

On Thursday, I sang karaoke.
На четверг, я спел караоке.
Na chyetvyerg, ya spyel karaoke.

Nobody good goes to karaoke on Thursdays.
Никто хорошее идет к караоке на четвергах.
Nikto haroshyeye idyet k karaoke na chyetvergah.

On Friday, I sang karaoke as well.
На пятнице, я спел караоке также.
Na pyatnitsye, ya spyel karaoke takje.

Too many people are good on Fridays.
Слишком много людей хороши на пятницах.
Slishkom miago lyudeyi haroshi na pyatnitsah.

On Saturday, I danced.
На суббота, я станцевал.
Na soobbota, ya staitsyeval.

The music was too loud to talk.
Нот было слишком громко для того чтобы поговорить.
Not bilo slishkom gramko dlya toga chtobi pagovarit’.

People talked to me. I could not hear them.
Люди поговоренные к мне. Я не смог услышать их.
Lyoodi pagovaryenniye k meeye. Ya nye smog ooslishat ih.

They stopped talking to me.
Они остановили поговорить к мне.
Oni ostanovili pagovarit’ k miye.

I danced by myself. I danced with friends.
Я станцевал собой. Я станцевал с друзьями.
Ya stantsyaval soboyi. Ya stantsyeval s drooz’yami.

I had a good time. It is possible that I should stop talking.
Я имел полезного время работы. Возможно что я должен остановить поговорить.
Ya imyel palyeznaga vryemya raboti. Vazmojna shto ya doljyen astanovit’ pagovarit’.