Archive for December, 2008

Post #18: Waking Up in the Morning

Tuesday, December 30th, 2008

Dear Alice,

Have you ever had trouble waking up in the morning? I think it’s because my Mom trained my brother and I to get up for school whenever she clapped twice.

*Clap clap*


Post #17: Out With The Bad, In With The Good

Monday, December 29th, 2008

Dear Alice,

Let’s take a look at two supposedly contradicting clichés:
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” vs “out of sight, out of mind”

The former refers to the things you liked, such as humour, kindness, etc.
The latter refers to the things you disliked, such as guilt, frustration, etc.

Life is good like that. It’ll forget your mistakes. So, stop apologizing and just let them go.

Post #16: Five Stages of Grief

Friday, December 26th, 2008

Dear Alice,

Christmas time is a time to celebrate. The days can get no shorter. The nights can get no longer. It’s time to be born again.

I met up with family for Christmas and they saved me. Here’s how it goes:
(1) Denial: Assume that everything’s okay until the façade just gets too out of hand.
(2) Anger: “You’re not playing right!” “Of course I’m not playing right! Why should I??”
(3) Bargaining: “That’s not fair to us!” “Well, I can’t because of….” “Well, we need you to because….” “I can’t!”
(4) Depression: “Forget it. You can do whatever the hell you feel like.”
(5) Acceptance: “…It makes sense. I’m doing much better now. Thank you.”

I took it out a lot on my brother previously, and he handled it well enough.
I took it out in a big way on my sister, and my brother was there to get us through it.

Part of me feels guilty for making them pay for my mistakes…. However, I went to them because I was certain that they would help me find the reasons to let go and move on. My family is as heavenly as they come, and I’ve got them right here on Earth.

Post #15: Tragedy of the Commons

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008

Dear Alice,

I think by being too social, I’ve started to cause more harm to myself than good.
It’s like too much food for thought. Your brain gets overheated trying to process it all.

It’s time to get some needed space.

Post #14: Life is Ambiguous

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

Dear Alice,

As above, so below.
I assert that life is filled with dichotomy and ambiguity.
We are here to find clarity and develop consistency.

My sister’s been insisting that I read The GOD Delusion because she’s been worried about my faith. Funny enough, through my own suffering, I think I’ve been able to come up with an argument for both the church and the state.

Both religion and science can and should help each other to see
the rationale and beauty behind aligning our wants with the earth’s
as opposed to forcing it to morph to our will.

Likewise, we wouldn’t want our liver, or lungs to suddenly sabotage our body,
yet we poison them until they no longer care about “the greater good” of ourselves. They simply cease.

My family, as do St. Bernard dogs, suffers from heart failure….
Can it truly be from caring too much? From constant adjustment of stress - more than the heart can handle?
I think Neil Young understands.

Below is
(1) an argument for how religion and science work together to see each other’s blind spots,
(2) my current understanding on how to life life to the fullest
(3) a poem


Post #13: Naughty Boy, Lucid Dreaming

Friday, December 19th, 2008

Dear Alice,

My friends at work and I were talking about lucid dreams. One of them said, “I love them, because then I can do whatever I want. I can be very naughty…!” and she stopped herself. In the blink of an eye, I figured what kind of naughty thoughts she must be thinking… but then I realized: who’s to say that her idea of naughtiness is the same as mine?


Post #12: Selfless in music

Friday, December 12th, 2008

Dear Alice,

I’m having a great time doing my first proper recording. It’s with Myke Massei, and we’re using ProTools and layering with whatever sounds we can find in his apartment. The current mix has a garbage bin, a rainmaker, and a cooler as percussive instruments. We also found a nice clicking sound when you hit the wooden underside of a djembe with a pencil. All in all, it’s sounding so sweet; it’s got that Jack Johnson “Wasting Time” feel I love so very much; I’m very excited. (To be potsed soon!)

Drummers must either be extremely confident, or extremely selfless. Perhaps both. I recorded myself singing with my guitar in one track, and from then on my drumming was at the mercy of my past self. What a lesson! If you’re not the one in charge of the beat, you just have to give yourself to the music. Yet another lesson about life.

Post #11: Dive right in

Monday, December 1st, 2008

Dear Alice,

I’m doing good. I had a wonderful chat with my friend Joyce today (Sunday) and it was quite the trip. She was just the right person to engage in a heated debate about who I am and what I’m trying to do. She’s fairly confident in who she is, so I was allowed to indulge.

On Thursday, I was debating with my friend, Eric, about life and physics. I’m big on analogies and tried to force one between electrons, people and the earth, but he’s got the upper hand since he actually knows higher level physics. In the end, he gave me a gem from Murphy, who basically said that light is lazy: It always chooses the path of least resistance. Isn’t that like people? People are only being lazy because they’re trying to be efficient! Beautiful.

On Saturday, I was out with friends. I hang out with a lot of cool people who never get to meet, so this Saturday I seized an opportunity to make something happen. I was a bit ambitious and we had three groups of people together at once instead of just two. All I could think was, “Oops!” :) I got a call from Joyce during the night and laughed to her about it. She said to me, “You need to get better at introducing people,” which makes sense, since I come from a small island where everyone knows everyone. I coupled that with what my good friend, Dave, once told me: “If my friends are too socially incompetent to introduce themselves, then why should I introduce them at all?!” I love that quote. In the end, I felt alright, but I did feel a bit sheepish. *shrug*

Some friends say that I’m being too hard on myself, and it’ll dig me an early grave. However, I’ve always been hard on myself. That’s how I got here - I’m an overachiever. My body’s taken so much crap from me, and I plan to keep it up while I’m still young and healthy. With that said, I also recognize that true change takes time. Knee-jerk reactions are only going to cause more grief in the end. Joyce wants me to dive right in, but I think she underestimates the height of the diving board.

My favourite accusation (of late) is that I’m trying to play God. I think it a lofty goal, but there’s some truth to it. In Apocalypse Now, Kurtz has that line where he describes man as both god and animal. I think that that’s what I’m actually aiming for. I want better control of my actions, better understanding of their consequences, and I want to be at one with nature… and I don’t see a problem with that.