Archive for October, 2008

Post #5: Late For Work

Friday, October 31st, 2008

Once upon a time, there was a boy whose birthday was today. His co-workers knew it was his birthday, and he promised he’d show up to work in costume. He set his alarm for 7 am and went to bed relatively early.

The alarm went off in the morning, and he hit the snooze button as usual. The next time he woke up, it was 9:30 am. He had hit something other than his snooze button!

Oh dear! He was always late for work, but not this late! How could it be that the one time when he wants to get up early, he screws it over royally.

He threw his clothes on, and left his house miserable, imagining his manager having a “talk” with him about his tardiness. The cars filled the street, and he was forced to roller blade on the sidewalk. “Why the heck are there so many at this hour??” he thought. “Is it some Halloween thing??” A moving van took a sharp turn and nearly ran him over, and he grinned! The day was off to a wretched start. He wondered whether the day was trying to get rid of all the suck early, so that the rest of the day could be nothing but good.

A few strides later, just as he was coming to grips with things, he started thinking… what button did he hit on his alarm clock? He checked his phone for the time… It said 8:48pm. “No way,” he thought in disbelief. “I must’ve hit the hour button!” David had woken up on time, and he still had 10 minutes to get to work.

To sweeten the situation, his costume wasn’t ready anyways, so the mishap gave him a great excuse as to where his promised outfit could be. Wonderful.

Post #4: Morrissey’s Halloween Shop

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

On Sunday, I mentioned that I wanted to be Popeye to Vlad and Vee, and Vee mentioned this place at St. Clair and Dufferin that has Popeye costumes. They were going to head to Dufferin Station and walk up to St. Clair and grab a costume the day before.

This is a story of pain.

(more…)

Post #3: Go-Karting is painful…

Friday, October 24th, 2008

Dear Alice,

I’m sore after go-karting.  It seems counter-intuitive, but you start making sense of it after a while. Natural questions arise, like “Why is my entire back cramping up?” and “Why are my hips tender?”

It’s constantly fighting the G-forces on every turn that wears you down.  You brace yourself so you can turn the wheel, hold the gas, and stay in your seat. Your back is tense to keep you steady; your hips grate against the plastic seating; your legs suffer as you haven’t figured out how far forward your seat should be; and yet you’re still shocked that 45 laps of intense driving hurts.

I can barely imagine how someone driving in the Indy 500 would feel: tense for hours, and probably strapped into his seat like a mummy; the Gs must take a serious toll on their body!  I gained a lot more respect for these racers after yesterday, though perhaps a little more “WTF??” as well.

The other factor is that I’m an asshole driver when I can’t figure out how to pass you. I’ll just bump you constantly until you pull over. *bumpbumpbump* “No pain, no gain.” I’ve been a couple of times now, but my only previous go-karting experience was Mario Kart.  I learned quickly that the all-gas-no-brake technique is death on wheels, and I’ll have to find another way to power slide other than the cart-hop.  The guys working at GP Kartways weren’t much help on improving technique.  One guy just says, “Don’t suck,” and it stops being funny after the third time you ask.

I tried a few tactics: Instinct tells you to brake hard into turns and accelerate out - which turns out to be correct - but I also tried no break + no gas into the turns, as well as pumping the gas into them, and the time difference wasn’t much worse.  It was from 24.0 s to 24.5 s.  Evan managed a lap of 23.5 s, but how in the heck do people hit 21 seconds?

Well, while I’m sure I could have figured this out after a lot of thought and effort, I’m gettin’ old, and the internet is so smart.  (Go-Karting Techniques)

Maybe equipped with new knowledge, I’ll become a nicer person driver. You should join us some time.

David

Post #2: A Password That Typed Like Water

Monday, October 20th, 2008

Dear Alice,

I changed my Facebook password, and I don’t like it. I’ve become very accustomed to my usual passwords, which were designed so that the password-finger-dance is sublime. This new one, however, feels off. It’s too heavy on the right side…. I must admit that I did try to design it so I’d only need one hand, but I guess that’s difficult when one-handed typing’s not your first typing language.

I’m sure everyone has a trick for setting new passwords. My friend’s father made all of his passwords, “boat”. Another made his phone password “5556“. Well, at my work, we’re forced to change all of our passwords once a month - and you can’t use the same password as any of your last fourteen! So you need to figure out a system if you ever expect to remember them.

One system I found helpful was to come up with a template based on your website. For instance, “facebooK$75″, “myspacE$75″, or “hotmaiL$75″. A template is worth a thousand passwords, no?

Otherwise, you can always be happy with the tried and true password of “password”.


I’ve been programming since 4pm (it’s now 2am) on my website. At about 1:30, I decided to check the site at different resolutions. It’s passable at 1024×768, and it’s horrendous at 800×600. Whatever. I’m rusty with my web design, and I’m using a technique that’s been marked as one of the top-ten worst web design mistakes of 2002. I get by by assuming Jakob’s talking about two-dimensional scrolling, not specifically web sites that have intentionally designed theri sites to be horizontal scrolling. I’ll talk to Mark and see what he suggests.

Post #1: Happy Birthday, Lenny

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

Dear Alice,

I was racially profiled by the media! They never stop me for one of those on-the-street interviews, but today they flagged me down. I first thought ‘Yay! Me!’, and then ‘Nay… vote.’ because I hadn’t voted. The brief survey went:

She: Did you know it’s Lenny Kravitz’s birthday today?
Me: No, I didn’t! (looks at camera) Happy birthday, Lenny!
She: How do you think he looks?
Me: I don’t know how he looks, but (looks at camera) I’m sure he feels great.


Well, now that this is THE OFFICIAL BLOG FOR DAVID ST BERNARD, I’ll have to figure out a direction. As great as always having a new entry to read every day, I think I’ll go for quality, not quantity. I’m forced to tell you this, of course, because I’m about to unleash this blog to the world before the content builds up. Hopefully, novelty and promise is enough to tide over the average reader….

Website news: I can’t find the hack to pull the blog data to the main page. What do I want? The most recent entry displayed on my front page. I spent the past two hours scanning php code looking for the method, but there’s a lot of intelligence built into this WordPress! I was impressed. I’m sure these are just growing pains and I’ll come up with a solution in due time.

Wish me luck!
David

Post #0

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008

Dear Alice,

This isn’t a real post.  I’m testing it just to see how things look from WordPress.

*looks*

Hey!  It looks like Mark’s www.wittyandvibrant.com!  That’s cool.  (But not cool enough.  I’ll have to do some tweaking so mine is super cool.)